The Altitude Reset

Questions to fall in love

Set I: The Spark (Casual & Imaginative)

Low-stakes questions designed to wake up your imagination and find common ground.

Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Would you like to be famous? In what way?
Before making a call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
If you could live to 90 and keep either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years, which would you want?
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
What is the best meal you've ever had while traveling together?
If you could teleport anywhere for 24 hours right now, where would we wake up?
What's a totally ridiculous thing we’ve done on a trip that still makes you laugh?
If our relationship were a movie, what would the title be?

Deeper prompts that explore your shared history and personal growth.

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, or the future, what would you want to know?
Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
What do you value most in a friendship?
What is your most treasured memory?
What is your most terrible memory?
If you knew you would die suddenly in one year, would you change anything about how you live now?
What does friendship mean to you?
What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Alternate sharing five positive characteristics of your partner.
How close and warm is your family? Was your childhood happier than most?
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
What is the biggest area you’ve seen me grow or change since we met?
If you didn’t have to work for a living, what would you do instead?
What is one thing you tend to procrastinate on?
What’s one habit or mindset you’ve picked up from me during our travels?
When was a moment on a stressful day where you realized we make an amazing team?

Highly personal questions to forge lasting emotional intimacy.

Make three true “we” statements each (e.g., “We are both feeling…”).
Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
If you were to become a close friend with your partner, what would be important for them to know?
Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest, saying things you wouldn’t say to a stranger.
Share an embarrassing moment from your life.
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
Tell your partner something you like about them already.
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
If you were to die this evening, what would you most regret not having told someone?
If your house caught fire, what one item would you save after your loved ones and pets?
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how they would handle it.
What can I do to make you feel more confident in our future?
What is one thing I do that makes you feel the most beautiful/handsome?
What is a secret you’ve never told anyone else?
If we got matching tattoos to represent our journey, what would they be?
The Final Ritual: Set a timer for 4 minutes and look into each other's eyes in total silence

Questions 1–12, 17–28, and 34–45 are based on the 1997 study "The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness" by Dr. Arthur Aron et al.